


You don't have to say a word

by amoridicent



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Nct2018, and lucas is a confident gay, it's just fluff you sinners, jungwoo is anxious, nct - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-27
Updated: 2018-04-27
Packaged: 2019-04-28 18:36:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14455332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amoridicent/pseuds/amoridicent
Summary: Jungwoo's anxiety gets the best of him and he starts to doubt himself after an incident that leaves him feeling like there's no coming back from it. Good thing Lucas is there to change his mind.





	You don't have to say a word

It was hard.

But of course he knew it was worth it, and that he had dreamt of this his whole life, this is what he had worked for, this was the result of years worth of hours upon hours of training.

Still, he was uncertain, a ball of anxiety constantly making its presence known in the pit of his stomach. He cramped his fists in silent nervosity where he stood hidden behind Jaehyun, sharp eyes watching the other members goof around in front of the camera, internally debating whether or not he should approach them.

He couldn't help but smile as Lucas broke out in his, by now infamous, interpretation of 'We young' in front of the camera, all of the attention naturally focusing on the man like he was born to be on the receiving end of it. He watched as Mark playfully pushed the other away, successfully making Lucas stumble with his words, an unfitting voice crack filling the room from the sheer force of the push, laughter blossoming out between them soon after.

How Lucas did it, he'll never know. They had debuted at the same time, the two of them taking a leap into the world of NCT shoulder to shoulder, as a team. Still, Lucas had adapted to the idol life sooner than him, much sooner. See, Jungwoo always held his insecurities close to heart, letting himself be held back, avoiding having to open his mouth more than necessary if it wasn't to sing or to tell the other members that they were handsome, which admittedly he did a lot. Meanwhile, Lucas had instantly fallen in love with the fans, he had fallen in love with showing off his incredible talents to the world, he had fallen in love with the attention - and seemingly the fans had fallen in love with him too, several fan sites for the younger had popped up in the hundreds after their debut. Jungwoo couldn't blame them, the man was undeniably stunning and had a personality that just demanded to be the center of attention.

Feeling a poke against his hip, he stirred out of his thoughts and turned his attention on the man next to him, Jaehyun met his eyes with an encouraging expression and nodded for him to look forward. In his daze, he hadn't paid attention to his surroundings and suddenly he found himself face to face with the camera, the crew behind it looking expectantly back at him.

"As I was saying, Jungwoo hyung here debuted alongside me, he takes care of me and makes sure I don't get into too much trouble, although he's quite the troublemaker himself." 

He guesses that that was a reference to the time he and Haechan had spent all day trying to play pranks on the others, which had ultimately resulted in their dorm almost burning down after a trick involving fire. Yeah, they really should have seen that one coming. But that was a story for another time.

Looking to his right, an until now unnoticed Lucas met his eyes, the latter being the owner of the voice who had just unexpectedly introduced him, giving him a firm pat on his shoulder as to urge him to answer. He blinked back at the younger, biting his teeth down onto his lower lip as he turned his attention back to awaiting camera, and then followed silence, for a moment it felt like the earth stood still, and then he spoke.

"Hi, I'm Jungwoo please take care of me and please anticipate our upcoming album." he practically stumbles over his words and slurs hastily around every syllable, making a 'hwaiting' motion with his hands in an attempt to save the situation, all meanwhile suppressing a heated blush from painting his cheeks.

He didn't expect for more silence to follow when his voice trailed off the last sentence, was he supposed to continue? He's already said everything that he wanted or was expected to say, right? Damn it, he could sure use a handbook for this kind of stuff, shit he'll write it himself if he has to.

In the unbearable quiet that followed, his heart picked up an unhealthy pace, beating against his ribcage painfully, loud enough that he heard it echoing like a ticking bomb in the dead of the room. His lungs began to feel constricted as he didn't dare to make the slightest of sounds, only letting out a puff of air as he felt Jaehyun circle his arms around him in quiet reassurance, momentarily relaxing against the older male.

What happens next goes by in a blur, he vaguely hears Taeyong joining the conversation, the camera immediately turning to him like a moth to the flame, the red-haired male stealing the spotlight alongside a beaming Doyoung with his deep voice and soft smile, thanking NCTzens for their continued support and reminiscing about the time they first debuted themselves.

He knows, based on the heavy breathing, that Taeyong must have practically spurted across the room from where he stood by the makeup noonas for a quick touch up, in order to ease up the situation Jungwoo had created for himself, the older all too familiar of the anxiety Jungwoo is being haunted by.

The two of them occasionally sat down together at the dorm, the kitchen counter acting as their makeshift meeting spot, and just talked for hours about their concerns and thoughts, they shared their experiences and supported each other, their voices quieting down only as the clock surpassed two in the morning. The older promising to be there to save Jungwoo whenever he caught him stumbling over his words, although Taeyong had assured that his shy persona only added to the charm that was kim jung woo.

And as the camera disappeared so did the members, venturing deeper down the hall to greet a flustered Ten who made the unfortunate mistake of turning the corner into the scene of the crime. Jungwoo breaks out in a warm smile as he watches their retrieving backs disappear along with laughter and excited banter. He's about to turn around when he feels the familiar grip of a warm hand around his, and in the next second he's greeted by a worried face, the owner of which urging him to follow him into their dressing room.

The minute they are secluded from the rest of the members, or well – the kind of secluded you’ll have to learn to appreciate when you’re a group of eighteen young boys sharing the same space, he’s face to face with a concerned Lucas, the younger inspecting him carefully. Although the way he is looking at him makes Jungwoo all but calm, his heart once again picking up in pace, but this time for a completely different reason than before.

Two hands are careful, almost hesitant as they're placed on his cheeks, massaging the outlines of his cheekbones soothingly, effectively steadying his heartbeat once again. “What happened out there, Jungwoo?” follows Lucas soft yet masculine voice after a beat of silence. 

Jungwoo relaxes his shoulders and lets his head fall forward ever so slightly into Lucas touch “I don’t know.” comes his reply, a small hitch of breath following the end of his sentence. The younger sighs, it’s not in a judging or disappointed manner, instead, it’s promptly followed by a comforting hug.

“You don’t need to be so anxious all the time hyung, you’re doing so great, and you deserve to be here just as much as the rest of us.”  


And for a minute, he lets himself believe it.

-

The next morning he wakes up in a daze, eyes red and sore, he turns to his side and closes his eyes again, not having the power to even attempt to get out of his own little fort of blankets and pillows. He had done the mistake of reading the comments from their latest live, the one which took place yesterday. He had scrolled past the encouraging messages in order to stare at the ones that told him that if he wasn't even ready to properly talk in front of a camera to his fans, maybe he shouldn't have debuted at all. Many asking what SM was thinking when they debuted him.

And by now he himself asked the same question, what were they thinking?

After a solid half an hour of trying to convince himself to get out of bed, he finally breaks free and walks into their shared kitchen, where he meets a hunched over Mark reading the newspaper and drinking a steaming cup of coffeé. They eyes meet and they share a nod in place for greeting, the younger clearly seeing the red around his eyes by the way his gaze lingers, but he asks no questions nonetheless, and Jungwoo is grateful. The quiet of the room is peaceful as he fills a glass of water until it threatens to spill over and it leaves his hand wet with the few drops that didn't quite make it, he nonchalantly wipes it off on his shirt and quickly downs the water. On a normal day he would have instantly changed pants before any of the members could use the watery stains near his crotch as future blackmail material, but this time he didn't care. He had fallen asleep with his clothes from the day before, not even finding in him to be bothered to wash away his stage makeup, and that was certainly a physical indication to go easy on him today.

Well back in his room after a quick visit at the bathroom, he quickly crawls under his covers again and closes his eyes, hoping he could stay there until this whole thing is finally swept to the side by their audiences, which could take between a few days to several months depending on how badly he's managed to humiliate himself.

He barely notices as the squeak of his door sounds in a silent warning of a visitor, and he only opens his eyes as he feels his mattress dip from added weight, fluttering them open just in time to witness Lucas lying down on his side in front of him.

"Hi!"

"....Hi."

"You don't need to say a word."

Lucas smiles at him and it's infectious, a smile of his own soon following suit. No more words are exchanged between them after their quiet greeting and Lucas cryptic sentence, instead, they're basking in the sunlight , falling asleep next to each other and waking up in each other's arms.

-

NCT as a whole are at a variety show the first time it's brought up again, it's about three days after the incident and he freezes where he's sat next to Lucas when he hears his name being said, the camera turning to him as on cue, well, at least this wasn't live, he could still get away with his pride partly intact.

"Well I, I'm not so good with words." He mumbles, absentmindedly scratching his neck, finding it hard to catch the words that keep racing around in his mind, none of them quite catching on his tongue. Even though he had several days to figure out a response he still was speechless in the moment of truth. "But I try, and I'll get better so I can properly communicate with NCTzen, sorry for my previous mishaps, please understand that not every idol can be the most social butterfly, we all experience nervosity and anxiety just like any other human."

Did that just come out of his mouth? Did he just formulate those strings of words?

He feels a pat on his back, he doesn't even have to look to know that it belongs to Lucas, said younger man practically beaming at him from the corner of his eye. He smiles and reaches for Lucas knee to give it a light squeeze, letting his hand rest there for the rest of the show.

There are no more questions directed at him after that, and he guesses he should be anxious to see the results of his response, but when he watches in amusement as Yuta and Winwin have an impromptu dance-off while they're wrapping things up he instead holds onto Lucas like he's the only thing that keeps him grounded. 

Lucas, who had gently placed his hand on top of his own somewhere along the line, turned towards Jungwoo just in time to catch him inspecting their perfectly fitted hands with curious eyes, and even when their eyes met, their fingers remained locked in a securing grip.

-

It's a busy Thursday when it finally happens.

His muscles are aching as he sits down in his designated place inside of their van and he wastes no time to make it comfortable for himself, pulling his heavy backpack up from where it's rested at his feet to use it as a makeshift pillow, only shifting his weight a little to the side as he feels Lucas enter next to him. It grows silent, but it's a comfortable silence as Lucas pulls up a blanket and wraps it around his legs, not forgetting to cover what he can of Jungwoo's legs as well.

"Jungwoo?"

He turns his head towards the other as he hears a shutter going off, the light of which blinding him momentarily, he has to blink a few times before he turns in towards the other with no shortage of complains ready to escape from his lips.

"What are you-"

He quiets down before he even has the chance to question the younger, as a Polaroid picture is gently pressed against the palm of his hand, said picture being the one Lucas had just blinded him with. He studies it with judging eyes, mentally pointing out every point and flaw he had brainwashed himself to see. And before he has any more time to sit and ponder, a hand is being covered over his own, the polaroid disappearing between their hands.

And as Jungwoo gains the courage to let his eyes be diverted from their perfectly intertwined hands to look up at Lucas again, he surprises them both by leaning forward and catching the other's lips in a loving but short-lived kiss that sends chills down his spine.

His mind is racing, this is Lucas - Lucas who makes him feel safe, Lucas who always takes care of him, Lucas who's touch lights fire against his skin.

"You don't have to say a word." the younger repeats just a whisper away from his lips, and Jungwoo knows.

Not all things need to be said to be understood.

**Author's Note:**

> my work title for this was "some gay shit." 
> 
> this work is also "treat-idols-like-humans-" propaganda, sue me.
> 
> yell at me on twitter @suptitties   
> and on tumblr @loonqi
> 
> 28.4.18 - read through and added some elements to the story, grammar corrected.


End file.
